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The massive two-wing house has eight bedrooms, a six-car garage, a lagoon-shaped swimming pool with spa, a covered bridge, elaborate gardens, an elevator, a nursery, a weight room and a wine cellar.

Twenty plus million dollars also bought the owner heated toilet seats. Odds are he can read an entire issue of GQ magazine in one warm sitting.

No wonder he doesn’t want to sit on a cold toilet seat in Buffalo!

Quarterback Tom Brady can throw footballs and read defenses.

He is also a wordsmith. Consider these Brady quotes.

To fans at the Patriots’ 2011 home-opener, he suggested, “….start drinking early. Get nice and rowdy.  4:15 game, lot of time to get lubed up.”

To ? he said: “Life is like a twinkie, we all want the fluffy golden outside but it's the cream filling that really matters.”

Just yesterday, during a pre-Super Bowl press conference, Brady described his father’s enduring support to the media. "He's been there every step of the way,” he said. “…even when I started my pro career, he traveled to Buffalo. I don't know if you guys have ever been to the hotels in Buffalo -- they're not the nicest places in the world -- but he would still travel to those."

Allow me to respond on behalf of a much maligned metropolis.

1.  I am not certain if any hotels in Buffalo have heated toilet seats (Note to developers of century-old hotels: buy them at Lowes and install them. Yesterday.)

2.  I am certain that few people in Buffalo care if local hotels have heated toilet seats. Sure. We’ll use them. We just don’t need them.

3.  I am willing to make a Romney-sized bet that Tom Brady’s dad never cared about the toilet seats he sat on, the hotels he stayed in, or the cities he traveled through when his son began his pro career. A supportive, encouraging father, he was thrilled that Tommy was finally drafted by an NFL team and playing football with the big boys (if you read this sentence, Tom, don’t start crying.)

4.  I am willing to make a double-sized Romney bet that if Tom Brady's dad is the family guy his son says he is, then he'd never trash a city like Buffalo.

Which makes Mr. Brady’s words all the more absurd.

 
See, contrary to Chamber of Commerce rhetoric, people don’t live in Buffalo because we like four seasons; skiing, sailing, hiking, and cycling. We don’t live here because of the architecture, the thriving art and music scene, the non-existent commute time, affordable housing, or proximity to fresh water and wine country. We don’t even live here because in a strip-mall-chain-restaurant world, we have whole blocks and neighborhoods of ‘authentic’.

Some of us relocated to Buffalo for jobs. Others have lived here all their lives. Lots of us chose Buffalo after moving away and living in other cities, countries and towns.

We didn’t return to the Queen City because it's a great place to raise a family.

We chose Buffalo because it is family.

 
Related or not, people here care. They acknowledge each other in parks and parking lots, chat in check-out aisles, let the other driver turn first, offer assistance the moment it's needed. Neighbors, all, though we may live miles apart.

Big Cities can change people; make one impatient, stressed, cynical, aloof, demanding.

 
Buffalo changes people, too. It demands that you get over yourself and be nice.

Authentic.

 
In 2007, Tom Brady was interviewed on 60 Minutes. He said that even though he had reached his goals and dreams, there’s got to be “more than this” - more to life than "simply" having it all and reaching the top.

Brady didn't have his wife, kids or dream house back then. Nowadays he really seems to have it all.  

And yet he doesn’t seem to have a clue that most people will never enjoy the privileged lifestyle of an elite NFL quarterback. Why a superstar athlete would emphasize the staggering divide between famous one and fan - criticizing a city’s lack of 5-Star hotels in order to emphasize the depth of his father’s support -  boggles the mind.

Quing's translation of Brady’s quote? “There's no Ritz Carleton in Buffalo, people. But my Dad was still willing to travel there and endure a stay at the Hyatt, so he could watch me throw a football. Can you imagine that kind of parental love and support?”

People who live in Buffalo - and lots of smaller cities - can imagine it. We know that a father will sleep in a reeking sleeping bag on a rocky campground if he has the opportunity to watch his child play. Succeed. Try.

That’s what family is and that’s what family does.

Buffalo doesn’t have the Nightclub Scene of South Beach. Or the hotels of Vegas.

But it has a whole lot of the ‘more than this’ that has eluded the great Patriot's quarterback.

In Buffalo, friends, neighbors, and strangers treat each other like kin.

It’s why most of us live here.

Next fall, when Tom Brady comes to town to embarrass our football team, he should stick around for an extra day or two.

Buffalo can teach him to get over himself.

And be nice.

QUING Hereby Decrees: Thumper's Brady Rule for 2012: If you can’t say something nice, abandon the microphone.