I’ve been thinking a lot about
unconditional love these days.
Love that never asks, needs,
wants. Love shared without expectation.
Other before self. Love that
never ends.
Unconditional.
God’s love. A parent’s love. A puppy’s
love, when its whole world is Y-O-U.
The most fortunate of us receive
the gift of unconditional love from our parents. As parents, it’s the greatest
gift we give our children: “I’ll love you forever and always. No matter what
you did to the car.”
Unconditional love - so selfless,
so profound – guides, inspires, shatters. The power of a bond so deep transcends
life itself.
Throughout the pandemic, unconditional
love has moved our world to tears. Essential workers, heroically and selflessly
risking and sacrificing their lives for others humble and awe those of us who quarantine
at home, unable to assist. Unconditional love also breaks our hearts as loved
ones die alone in hospitals or nursing homes, and families mourn in seclusion.
Unfathomably, our country and
world is also reeling from the shocking inhumanity of police officer Derek
Chauvin. With vicious, depraved
indifference to human life, Chauvin, - whose job description is to protect people’s
lives and property - presses his knee into George Floyd’s neck for nearly nine
minutes. Mr. Floyd, handcuffed and prone on the pavement, pleads; bystanders shout;
three police officers assist; a seventeen year old films. And Officer Chauvin
murders.
For decades to come, George Floyd’s
murder and the protests that ensued will be etched in our collective minds. We’ve
long witnessed systemic racism that sucks the peace, faith, hope and life out
of so many Americans and our communities. More audacious by the day, this intolerance
is so abhorrent, it has superseded the devastation of losing 105,000 American
lives and 40 million jobs. In pursuit of justice and change, Americans – and citizens
throughout the world - march in the streets; taking a stand regardless of the possibility
of contracting the Covid-19 virus, that, like centuries of racism, is unchecked,
easily spread and lethal.
The devastating drama and trauma sparked
by a murder in Minnesota echoes the excruciating months of quarantine. Again, those
of us not doing the essential work of saving and protecting lives feel a need
and desire to do something for our fellow citizens bearing a tremendous
burden. But what can we – the majority of us - do or say to mitigate centuries
of death, murder, violence, racism, discrimination, and grief perpetrated on
minorities? How can we even begin to wrap our hearts, heads and arms around the
anguish, fury, fear, exhaustion, and hopelessness endured by so many of our
fellow citizens?
Surely we can march, listen,
advocate, educate, vote. But trying to crush the instinct to discriminate and
hate based on one’s race, ethnicity and/or skin color is like attempting to escape
a black hole. An equitable, just, colorblind society cannot be legislated. Laws
won’t change a person’s character or heart.
Perhaps the horror of George Floyd’s
death, immortalized on film, has the potential to change both laws and hearts. Because
amidst nine minutes of hatred and torture, there is a miraculous moment that bears
witness to the power of unconditional love.
“Please, please, please!” “I can’t
breathe…” “I’m about to die!” Mr. Floyd pleads.
And then: “Momma! Momma! I’m
through.”
There, transcendent.
Unconditional love.
Confronting death, George Floyd calls
out to the woman who gave him life. The mother who died two years earlier, on
the same calendar day. As a mother, I can’t help but feel rage and anguish hearing Mr. Floyd’s plea, acceptance, and silence, as no
one is there to defend and comfort him. As a child, blessed with 51 years of a
mother’s unconditional love, I hear this plea and weep for humanity, wishing for
the comfort of my mother’s hug.
Few of us should have been privy
to that sacred moment. Yet, knowing that in the final breaths of his life Mr.
Floyd longed for the source of his life, I felt the sacred transcend the
darkness.
It got me thinking about love. The
unconditional sort, like the eternal link between George Floyd and his mother. This
shock to our moral core made me realize that the greatest gift we give our
children is not unconditional love. The greatest gift we give our children is
teaching them to love unconditionally.
In this long week of reflection
and grace, I’ve just begun to answer one of my questions: What can I do
about the centuries-old plague of injustice and violence perpetrated on and
endured by so many of my fellow Americans?
I can’t change centuries of
institutionalized racism. I can’t change the hearts and minds of the millions of
Americans who support and defend a president who encourages and glorifies
racism and violence. I can march, listen, advocate, educate, vote. I can keep trying to love unconditionally – even the racists and bigots.
And in this pivotal moment in
time, I can call out the awesome power of unconditional love, so profoundly revealed
in the last moments of George Floyd’s life. This moment demands that all of us wield
this power: raise our voices and defend, our consciences and listen, our hands and
protect. This moment demands that we share this power with our children by
teaching them to love unconditionally: to think of neighbor as self, to see heart
and mind instead of color of skin, to celebrate our differences and understand that every human being is worthy of dignity, love, and life.
Essential work, this.
Thankfully, all of us can do it.
